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I’m gonna stick with the non-chick-flick premise to start the new year (yes, I’m aware that it’s nearly 1/2 of the way through it. Moving on) and recommend the crap out of this one.

 

2015

 

Taron Egerton as Eggsy

Colin Firth as Harry

Samuel L. Jackson as Valentine

Mark Strong as Merlin

Sofia Boutella as Gazelle

Directed by Matthew Vaughn

Written by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn, based on the comic book by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons

 

Eggsy is growing up rough in London; his dad died when he was a baby, he, mom, and baby sister live in council housing, and he’s got more talent for anything than anyone, but he’s got no discipline. Until he screws up really bad and has to call in a favor. Suddenly, he’s thrown into the underground world of the Kingsman, a bad ass spy organization that—yep, you guessed it—his dad used to belong to. Of course our hero struggles to make his way, but all that talent, when properly guided, maketh a bad ass man. With manners.
I love that this was a comic book! It’s completely action-packed (parkour, car chases, guns, knives, knives-as-feet) and funny as hell (it’s British. These are my people). What else makes Kingsman stand out to me?

 

  • Samuel L. Jackson (he is in EVERYTHING EVER) as lisping Valentine. Did you know that Sammy J had a legitimate speech impediment? Oh yes. A lisp. He overcame it a long time ago, but that’s a thing. He’s so goddamn funny in this, especially when he pukes after killing a guy. “I hate violence.” Loved it.
  • Taron/Eggsy actually doing that brief scene of parkour/free running. The techno/dance drop during it is pretty awesome as well. The setting for that scene makes me happy, because it’s London, but it’s totally the Brutalist style (like the Barbican in the city). #AngloNerd
  • The climactic scene when all of the implants go off (is that a spoiler?). I have never laughed so hard in my life except in a Python flick. Everything was cued and color-coded and I just loved it. Pomp and Circumstance indeed!
  • The inclusion of the hero/villain discussion in Galahad/Valentine’s first meeting. They know exactly who the other is, and it doesn’t matter. It’s just fabulous.
  • I can NOT recommend this movie without discussing the church scene. According to IMDb.com, Colin Firth did 80% of his character’s stunts in the film, and this scene was part of that. It was so fast-paced (I’m sure it was speeded up during post) and choreographed so well—it was visually exceptional. And his line explaining why he was about to leave before getting sucked in to the mayhem? “I’m a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.” D. E. D. Dead.

So, yes, I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. I hope you will give it a shot; it was a contender for a 10/10 until the Swedish princess opened her big fat mouth and offended me (which takes a lot, to be honest. Remember how I feel about Shallow Hal?).

Weepy Meter:  0/10 It was a close call when he pointed a gun at the pug. But I made it through.

Man Meter:       10/10 cute girls, action, cursing, action, guns, action. He owns it.

Overall Rating:   8/10 yes. The Swedish chick messed it up THAT BADLY. But it’s still really, really good.

Photo credit: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2802144/mediaviewer/rm2716924928

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