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*Forgive the late post—lots going on with lots of visitors this weekend, and I HAD to watch it again right before I shared my thoughts. *

 

1971

 

Sean Connery as James Bond

Jill St. John as Tiffany Case

Charles Gray as Blofeld

Jimmy Dean as Willard Whyte

Screenplay by Richard Maibaum and Tom Mankiewicz; novel by Ian Fleming

Directed by Guy Hamilton

 

Diamonds Are Forever…forever…forever…forever…

 

Indeed they are! In the best installment of James Bond cinema history (in my opinion, of course), James is still after Blofeld (he’s a solid, consistent villain, isn’t he?). Turns out, Blofeld (and, of course, SPECTRE) is involved in a gigantic, convoluted diamond smuggling ring, with ties to a wealthy businessman based in Las Vegas. James travels from London/MI6 base to Amsterdam, then Los Angeles (AngeLEEZ), then through the desert to Las Vegas, before ending up on an oil platform in Baja, California. There are side trips to Southeast Asia and South Africa, but Vegas is the only place we need to go.

I don’t know if you can have more fun with a Bond film than the filmmakers did with Diamonds. It’s funny, it’s pretty, it’s violent; it’s everything you’ve ever wanted from James Bond.

How about the skinny on the fun?

  • Tiffany Case (St. John; Who’s Minding the Store?) is fantastic. She’s a loudmouth, brassy, DIY kinda chick. She’s pretty and she’s in charge, and she doesn’t care what people think. Her wigs are top notch, but really, there’s nothing better about her than her one-liners and facial expressions. The best comes at the end when faced with two assassins armed with flaming skewers. Yeesh. Yeah, she tapers off and becomes more of a hindrance than a help, but she’s fun.
  • The music. Easily Shirley Bassey’s best theme. There are also some great action themes (one is repeated from You Only Live Twice—I immediately thought of Little Nelly once I heard it.
  • The supporting cast. Of course. There are some great cameos: Sid Haig as one of Blofeld’s Vegas henchmen; Jimmy Dean as Willard Whyte; Bruce Cabot as Bert Saxby. There are some fun unnamed characters as well—Klaus Hergersheimer from G Section, Bambi and Thumper, and the dude at the end who does the countdowns. The real supporting stars, however are Putter Smith and Bruce Glover (father to Crispin Glover, aka George McFly, as well as the Knave of Hearts in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland movies) as Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint, respectively. They get all the best one-liners (see below), and their deliveries of said lines are absolutely incredible.
  • The action and gadgets. We’ve been through 6 films, chronologically, up to this point, so we’re not really surprised at the things Q branch adds to the film. We know James is really smart, so while things like the simulated moon rover chase in the Nevada desert are amazing, it’s not new. We know he’ll figure it out and lead his potential captors on a merry chase before getting away. He really shines during the Vegas strip car chase, however. Some great driving, and that CAR is perfect.
  • And here, for your enjoyment, are the best one-liners in Diamonds Are Forever (except when it’s an exchange between Wint and Kidd; it still works):
    • Referring to a coffin heading to the crematorium: “Heartwarming, Mr. Wint.” “A glowing tribute, Mr. Kidd.”
    • James, to Tiffany: “That’s a nice little nothing you’re almost wearing.”
    • “I didn’t know there was a pool down there.”
    • “Activate defenses.”
    • “Who’s she? Your mother?” “Blow up your pants!”

 

There’s no way this movie could rate any lower than the top spot. Diamonds Are Forever has so many tiny cogs inside it that just make it the perfect Bond film.

Bond rating: 007. He’s older (do they make his eyebrows bigger to keep you from focusing on the terrible toupee?), but he gets the job done. The action, the lines, the chick magnet. A great return to the series for Connery.

Baddie rating: 006. Charles Gray  might be my favorite Blofeld, even though he’s not particularly vicious. This movie is about the fun in spy films, though, and he fills the role very well. Plus there are 2-3 of him. Hard to keep track.

Bond girl rating: 005. Tiffany starts strong, but she tapers a bit at the end. Bambi and Thumper are pretty great, if a tad staged, and Lana Wood really didn’t need to be there…wait. It’s Vegas. There HAS to be a pit chick wandering around with her cleavage exposed to her belly button trying to “help” a dude into giving her a free hotel stay and (most likely) a meal. But Tiffany Case is pretty rad. I dig the wigs.

Photo credit: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066995/mediaviewer/rm2100893696

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